forever till forever meets no end

Sunday, January 07, 2007 @1:11 PM

ok i shall blog after countless reminders from veron, limjie etc.

the first 3 days of sec 2 are over and i still am not used to my class >.<
to put it frankly, i am not happy. nothing seems to be going right at all.

in class i don't feel that everyone is actually bonding that kind of thing.
i guess its because everyone is still in the "why did my sec 1 class have to be split up" mode. that stops 205 from actually bonding. and thus i for one thing am really glad that there are at least a few smilar recess that veron, melinda, cheryl and i share.
during recess if you actually observe, you will notice that we all stay with our sec 1 friends and classmates which i guess is expected. i'm not saying that the friends i eventually make this year will ever replace the great friends i made in sec 1. however i feel that if we all made an effort to bond, life in our sec 2 classes would be made much easier.

training doesn't make anything better either. during training lao shi announced that pauline and cheryl had gotten into asean and so did i. however she wasn't going to let me go into the national team. and obviously i was dissapointed. its like honestly how many times in your life time do you get a chance to get into the national team? if you are lucky you get 2. and i was very lucky to get not 1 but 2 chances. which i didn't take. i guess the fact that i gave up both chances makes the dissapointment worse.

in the beginning of sec 1, whenever i felt down i would throw it all out during training and usually i would feel better. however as the year passes it became harder and harder for me to do so. and i realised that my moods and emotions affected my performance during training greatly. like whenever i was troubled my a shaky friendship or the amount of homework etc. sub-consciously i would think about it during training and thus not train properly cause i wasn't focusing.

you may say i'm worrying excessively but honestly i don't think i am.
i just wish 205 will quickly bond and everyone become friends not that my new friends will replace the great friends i made in sec one but at least there will be one less worry hopefully. anyway i guess the fact that i know quite a few people in the class like amanda, irina,xiao min,farah,afiqah,kaiying,shiyun etc. makes it better. maybe its because the work hasn't piled up yet and i'm too free thats why i've got so much time to worry. but i don't think thats the case.

really sincerely pray the year will just get better especially training i don't really think training is much worse then before its just that i am very out of shape :(
which isn't a good sign at all. i'm really thankful for the great friends i made in sec 1 whom i am able to confide in sort of veron,melinda,steffi,cheryl etc and my great seniors.